And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger.
And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them.
But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.
And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen,
as it had been told them.
Luke 2:16-20 (ESV)
In late December, the year is preparing for its death. I welcome the finality of the calendar year with the promise of something new on the other side. Though, every Christmas when I return to rural South Carolina to visit my parents, I’m inundated with home and memories from my childhood, some joyful and others more melancholy. I feel this creeping dissonance of what the holiday used to feel like and is supposed to be like, versus what it actually feels like now at 29.
I’m sitting in my childhood living room, warm light emanating from the white linen curtains near the cedar chest I open. I sift through old family photographs and the feelings of nostalgia, loneliness…wistfulness hit me in the face as if I have been stuffing them into that cedar chest all year long.
In her novel, Little Women, Louisa May Alcott illustrates what I sometimes feel in the late December days, “…God seems so far away I can’t find Him.” Written in 1868, it feels relevant to me today, as I ponder what God is doing in my life, him feeling far away, and me feeling unsure about sharing any of those thoughts out loud.
Truthfully, I don’t relate with Mary at all. I don’t have a baby to tend to, and I’m not a woman living in antiquity. And yet, I know that the truth that was for her, and for then, is surely for us and for always. Three words from this passage transcend the patina of time for me: wondered, treasured, and pondered. They make me pause and suddenly…I relate.
In this Advent season, I’m wondering, I’m pondering, I’m treasuring in my heart what I’ve not taken the time for all year long. I’m striving to point myself back to the truth rooted in God’s Word. In Luke 2:16–20, we come to the end of the birth narrative where the new reality sets in that this baby is truly God himself and ultimately God is glorified and praised. Jesus is the true and better Savior to humankind.
Colossians 1:16–17 (ESV) speaks to this idea that God’s Word and ultimately his promises are sovereign. “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Christ is a constant in the transition, in the in between, in the processing, each and every year.
What are you wondering, what are you treasuring, what are you pondering in your heart this Christmas? What if you pressed into these thoughts, letting yourself process and unpack them instead of filing them away?
